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Rate This Contest Entry: Contest: June 30th, 2005 Author: Nadavya Stollon To: Commander Al Eon From: Pe On Re: Draft Proposal to Join Forces with the Planet Earth Date: 3098 Light Years, Month of the Clouds After surveying the planet Earth for more than one Earth year, I have come to some very strange and interesting conclusions. First conclusion: exactly one half of the planet is covered by a giant news bulletin1. There are different items on the bulletin numbered in order of importance. It seems, though that none of the news is ever very important because none of it is ever numbered one (the first Earth number). Also, there are never more -- and never less -- than 71 items on the bulletin. This bulletin announces when the planet is at peace or in Earth language “friends” and when it is at war. During this recent period of time, Earthlings have been engaging in a war called the "Star War” (probably against the sun creatures), which was fought over a period of two and a half earth hours. The news bulletin changes every half hour and informs them exactly when the battle is being fought and the status of their hostages. Currently there are only three hostages by the names of Emeril , Saturday Night and CNN, who are still alive. This is made clear by the fact that the word “Live” appears after the names of these hostages. I cannot always pick up signals of the news bulletin through my spaceship. Sometimes I pick up signals of other parts of the planet. On these parts of the planet, the bulletin is not visible. It is from these signals that I have learned that, contrary to my initial research, which showed that all intelligent Earthlings are of the same type, this is not so. There are many different types of Earthlings. One type, that I have recently been studying, is small and yellow. Each one of these yellow beings has a different shaped head. The leader’s is elongated, as is his mate’s who carries a long blue pillar atop her head. The leader enjoys consuming large quantities of “doughnuts” and “beer”. This form of nourishment is very puzzling. It seems to weaken the ones who consume it by making them larger and less able to maneuver themselves properly. I wonder what the point of this nourishment is? Maybe it holds some hidden energy source. More research should be done on this subject. On another part of the planet, where there are different types of “humans”, (actually I'm not sure if these are “humans” -- perhaps a different species -- further investigation is needed) there seems to be an ongoing rivalry between a tall, blue, fast-moving creature, with an orange beak, and a large-jowled brown creature with long ears. The brown creature is always chasing the blue creature. The chase always ends with the brown creature being crushed by a boulder or exploded. It is a wonder that it never dies as it is forever falling and being destroyed. If only our planet could learn its secret to immortality, our problems of under-population would cease. Despite the fact that there are many different kinds of Earthlings and each type alone seems weak, it seems, according to the news bulletin, that they are able to work very well together, especially in war. This is a sign of good intra-planetary cooperation, which has been one of our goals for decades. Because of Earth’s fortes in cooperation and immortality I think it could benefit us if they were to become our allies. Therefore, I suggest that instead of attacking this planet, as was our initial plan, we should approach them in peace and try to join armies with them. They might be able to teach us their secrets of intra-planetary cooperation and together we would be very strong and able to attack or defend ourselves against all armies in the universe. Rate This Entry! Warning: fopen(/home/writingc/public_html/entries/b3_rating/b3r_data/.txt) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/writingc/public_html/entries/b3_rating/b3_rating.php on line 69 Error opening file. Use browser's back button and try again people have rated it so far. Warning: fopen(/home/writingc/public_html/entries/b3_rating/b3r_data/.txt) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/writingc/public_html/entries/b3_rating/b3_rating.php on line 69 Error opening file. Use browser's back button and try again is the current average. 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