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Rate This Contest Entry: Contest: June 30th, 2005 Author: Wanda Covarrubias Swimming threw this wondrous sea of warm water, I ask myself how it is that I came to be here. My mind is as a blank slate... erased? I know that I am, but how is it that I am...here. I'm not at all concerned however as this seems to me to be paradise. I have no contact with others, like myself or otherwise.... but I am not alone. I hear THE VOICE, which has quickly become so familiar. Though not a language that I understand, as it resounds around me, I know that it is good, so pleasant. Where does the voice come from? Whatever or wherever the voice comes from, I just know that it is the source of all things wonderful. It seems a part of me yet outside of my space, drifting in and out from beyond these horizons. Another sound, closer, not a voice, a steady repeat of the same, drum like beat, soft and soothing. I am at peace. I have no needs or discomfort. This line seems to be attached to me but I can't learn how to disconnect it. A connection to the voice? A lifeline to keep me from swimming to far out? Or, is it this that sustains me, much like a diver receives oxygen? I wonder, but I know that my questions will be answered. I have no need to worry, just enjoy my swim. I believe the voice will take care of all. I find that I care for the voice. Could this be heaven, THE VOICE be God? That is how it seemed... and then it all began to change. Slowly my paradise began to start closing in on me. I watched but never saw movement. The sea had definitely shrunk into a much smaller place, and my horizons had turned to boarders. I could still swim, but this was now an enclosed space.. with no exit. Then it happened for the first time. The sound started moving at a much faster rate... louder and louder, it got so furious that it was shaking my space. The voice, which had always been pleasant, was now angry and desperate. Suddenly and without warning or provocation, a foul taste overcame me. I started spinning wildly, my muscles became very heavy and I could not move. The temperature shot up as I went into a tailspin. I found myself in a motionless place, one without thought, feeling or emotion. I lost all sense of being. When I regained consciousness all seemed, felt, different. Was this even the same place? It appeared to be the same. The sound had returned to its former pace, but was no longer soothing... I feared that it could change again at any time, a countdown to the next time? The walls looked the same, but I could now touch them. Movement had become strained. No, this could not be heaven. The voice was also different, of the same being but the feeling it sent was very frightening, it certainly was not God.... Yet, I still felt fondly for the voice. Perhaps it was not in fact the controller of all, but a prisoner of this horrific place too, held in the cell next to my own - being tortured? A patient of some mad scientist and her sadistic experiments? Moving me into a smaller space each time she injects some poison threw the cylinder, sending me to that dungeon of lost existence? I searched for an exit, pressing against the walls of my crypt, hoping to find a hidden hatch. I spent much of my time at this tedious chore, to no avail. What did I do to deserve this? Is this why my memories had been lost...stolen from me? why the sea was taken from me? Am I being punished for some unknown past sin? Something so terrible that even I can’t remember? I must find the answers and escape from this unyielding tomb. The tube must be the key, it is the only thing linked to the wall...... and the voice.... must be a part of this diabolical scheme, as it changes in unison with the sound and taste. What has happened to the voice that it would let this happen to me?.... My thoughts were interrupted. Sickness began to set in. I felt waves of heat but I was also chilled, then my stomach began to cramp. My skin burned from the inside out.... I don't remember ever feeling such pain, excruciating... I felt the voice could feel, even share, my agony. Why does it not help me? When I thought I couldn't take any more, it just became worse.... would it ever stop? The sound changed again, it was running rapid. Followed by the flavor, that same unmistakable taste that announces the spinning, came over me. I fell back into the whirlpool that carries me to the dark place of non-exsistence. This vicious circle continued each day. I actually came to look forward to the taste as I knew it would, at least for a short time, take me out of the pain. The sickness needs the cure, the cure causes the sickness. The time I spend able to think shortens between each episode. The space where I am now kept is far too small for my body. I can no longer extend my arms or legs, my neck seems to be glued to my chest. As my body beings to cramp and the temperature rises, I wait for the pain to begin. I wonder if I will ever have another thought. Could the voice take pity on me and end this cruel game, just let me cease to be? But this is different. I feel a great weight pressing me downwards, as the cramping and burning continue. This could be my end. The sickness is far worse than I’ve ever known it to be, and the pressure continues. I can’t take any more and give in to my fate. I wait to be crushed into the bottom of my casket. Just then I see a small opening in the wall.. an escape hatch? Why hadn't I found it before? Surely it's to tiny to even try to wiggle threw,… but it does go out…. dare I?? Soon, I find that I have no choice, the pressure is pushing me into the tunnel. What awaits me? The voice? another cruel chapter in it's demonic game. I just let go, I can't fight anymore. I hear the voice screaming as I'm forced threw the passage into the unknown. Is it trying to warn me? I knew it could not be my tormenter and responsible for my poisoning, but then, what evil does awaits me? My bones feel as if they will splinter at any moment. My flesh, still burning from sickness, feels as if it's being torn with each inch further into the chamber.... The voice continues to scream, my blood curdles at the sound of its’ cries. What is happening to the voice and does the same fate await me? The sound is beating at a pace I could not have imagined before. Then, as if from nowhere, something in the chamber pulls my battered and bloody body threw its’ end, preventing me from being crushed completely. I take the atmosphere into my body as fire fills my lungs. The sickness is at its' height. Surely I will not survive this long. I hear a voice, different from the one I've become accustomed to. This voice is much deeper and, soft and caring. The darkness slowly fades and I can see this new world. This voice is a much larger version of myself, a man. As he set me on a cold slab, his hands feel like a vultures claws tearing into my raw flesh. I believe he is unaware that his touch causes such anguish however, or of my sickness, for the happiness I find in his eyes can not come from some perversion, no this mans’ love is real. With one quick motion he disconnects me from the tube. He must be here to save me. I wonder what has become of the voice. As the man washes my body, the fluid he pours over me feel like acid on my open flesh, yet, free of the tunnel, my curiosity supersedes my sickness as I take in this new world. The man is taking me somewhere, my eyes focus on the other side of the room. It's a woman. She's so beautiful. I'm instantly and overwhelmingly smitten with her. She reaches for me, I feel safe. I'm hungry, and she offers me food. She places me at her table, and I take my first taste of nourishment in this world. That unmistakable flavor. Horrified I try to push away. She was the one controlling the tube and corrupting my existence. Why is she smiling? She laughs. It's the voice!!! it followed me threw the chamber. I scream to the man to save me. Please in all that is good do not leave me with her. The cause of my suffering has been her all along. She wants to carry on her torturous, evil game. But the man does not understand my cries. He only smiles. Beyond the sickness and the pain, my heart breaks. Regardless of my suspicion, I had come to love the voice. It was just too much. From paradise threw chambers of pain, and now this. I must accept what is clearly before me. This is my existence. I now understand, this is the first day of the rest of a lingering and painful death, which I was brought here for, by her, my controller. I collapse and surrender to what is to come. As my executioner sings a Lula-bye. 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